I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
