hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
