my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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