he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize