Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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