I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months