So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.