the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
