Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
