Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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