I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize