We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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