I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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