he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize