dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Boobs are out for the taking
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
