but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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