hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
