my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You made out with two different species that night
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
