i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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