just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
