I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
