You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
