also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
