Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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