I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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