ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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