I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
