How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
