So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
