I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
