Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
