what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
