Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
