Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
