Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He better not be in your backpack
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
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You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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