OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had sex on a roof
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
