if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize