her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
