My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
