Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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