kristin has been a bad kristin
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
