i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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