You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
