My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
