thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize