life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
