He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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