He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
