They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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