We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
