He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
