I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
