you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
