You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
