Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
