So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
