I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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