I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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