it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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