She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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