If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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